I'm scared to tell my parents/carers I might have an eating disorder

It's often challenging to decide whether we should trust those around us when we're facing difficulties. By speaking to a trusted adult about your struggles, it can help alleviate some challenges that you may be carrying alone.

What if I do not want to tell my parent/s or guardian/s? 

It is okay if you are not comfortable speaking to a parent or guardian, there are many people you can speak to about your challenges.

A first step is usually to reach out to the GP for advice and support. We have a GP leaflet that helps to explain what can happen at the first appointment, and helps the GP understand the importance of support and treatment for those with eating disorders. You can be any age to reach out to the GP and we have a resource which explains all you need to know about visiting your doctor.

If you are unsure of what GP surgery you are registered with, the NHS has a tool that allows you to insert your postcode and all the GP surgeries in your area will show which you may wish to contact.

If you are able to speak to a trusted adult, here are some general tips that may be helpful for you when you are struggling:

• Choose the right person: Think about the adults in your life and choose someone you feel comfortable talking to. It could be a parent, uncle, aunt, sibling, teacher, school counsellor, coach, or another adult you trust.
• Pick the right time and place: try and find a quiet and private space where you can talk without interruptions. You can plan for this in advance so that your chosen adult can give you their full attention.
• Be honest and open: When you're ready to talk, be honest about how you're feeling. It's okay to say, "I'm struggling right now, and I need some help".
• Be patient: It may take time for your trusted adult to fully understand what you're going through. You can always ask them to reach out to our helpline to speak to one of our advisors, so we can help them to try and understand.
• Think about what kind of help you're looking for: do you need someone to listen, give advice, or help you find a solution? Be clear about what you need from your trusted adult, but it is also okay not to be sure; you are doing the right thing by opening up.
• Use "I" Statements: "I" statements allow you to express your feelings. For example, say, "I am feeling ____ lately," instead of "You make me feel ____". “You” statements can sometimes sound as though you are blaming them or making accusations which can cause the conversation to not be as helpful.

If you are still unsure of how to start the conversation, here are some more ways you can do it:

1. Write a letter
Sometimes it can feel scary to talk to a person about something personal in person. Many have found it helpful to write a letter for a trusted adult to read. It can also be a helpful way to start a conversation.

If you are a young person, Childline has a template that can help you start the letter which you can also edit.  

2. Speak to others 
Every week Beat runs a number of online support groups for those with eating disorders. They give you an opportunity to connect with others and get peer support from those who understand. You will not have been the first person who may find it challenging to be open and honest with a trusted adult. Finding out how other people managed can reassure you that it is the right thing to do and they may be able to give you some useful tips.

Remember, you can contact us if you would like to talk through how to speak to a trusted adult. Our contact information can be found here.