To look at me you would never know I live with an eating disorder. Even typing the word feels wrong. A name that depicts images of skeletal figures and fashion models from the 70s and 80s, not a “regular”, “healthy-looking” person like me.
Summer is almost here, which for all its shiny pros also comes with a multitude of cons for those in recovery from an eating disorder.
In the past I’ve wanted to hide the eating disorders that are part of my history, but I want to shout from the rooftops: I'm proud of how far I had come!
The main reason accessing treatment for my eating disorder was so problematic is because my condition is a comorbid mental and physical health issue. I can be classed as suffering from anorexia binge/purge subtype ... However, I have the added complication of being a type 1 diabetic.
My name is Carly. I have had bulimia for eight years, and I have never been treated for it.
While all eating disorders and the people who suffer from them are completely different, what they often have in common is that they revolve around control.
It's not that I didn't know the health risks. I researched enough, was told enough times to know that I was hurting my body, but sometimes you get to the stage where you stop caring.
Maisie talks about her experience of exam pressure and how this impacted on her eating disorder.
I always wanted to recover and get rid of the thoughts and feelings going around my head. I wanted to release some control and be able to live a 'normal' life again like I had before my eating disorder had reared its ugly head. I wanted to be 'normal'.
For the past year, I’ve been battling an eating disorder. Despite having seen multiple health professionals and had treatment for it, this is one of the first times I’ve ever really admitted I DO have an eating disorder.
At first it was a quiet niggle, an increase in talking about food and diet with friends, a new obsession over healthy eating, making excuses to skip meals. Any discreet way to avoid food. At least, I thought I was being discreet.
They're the words you tell someone who is buried deep under revision or coursework. They're also the words you say to someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder.
Dear me, the girl with the laughing face. Hard times are coming. You’re going to hate your body, detest the very skin you reside in, yet obsess over it, every inch of skin.
Our bodies are wonderful and they are so much more than how they look. My body carried me through a difficult trek in the Sahara desert.
I was born as a Muslim, but never knew anything about it. At a time when I was searching for answers to the purpose of my life, I found all the answers.
I am still in the grips of my eating disorder, but that doesn’t mean I’m backing down!
The most important thing I have learnt is that treatment (although important and necessary) doesn't work unless you do. No one can drag you through recovery or do recovery for you.
I have no doubt this is going to be a long road, but I am sick (no pun intended) and tired of having this secret and hating myself.
An eating disorder is like a pair of armbands, keeping you afloat when otherwise you feel like you would drown. It makes life easier in many cases – by holding onto your disorder you feel like you have control and feel like you are able to accomplish things.
When I became a parent, my eating disorder didn’t magically disappear. When she was a baby and I was home alone with her, there was no one to check up on me, no one to HAVE to eat in front of.