Your Stories

Recovery. It evokes so many different emotions for different people. It may frighten you, it may frustrate you, it may encourage you. For me, recovery is all that and more.

At the age of eighteen I had my place to study Music in September…however, I was also in the depths of anorexia.

I was still in the healthy weight range (most of the time), my blood tests were coming back and everything was in the green and where it should be, so I was healthy, right?

As there has been a lot of talk about anorexia, particularly in recent times, almost everyone now knows what it is. Or at least they think they know.

When we are bombarded with “New Year, New You” messaging and diet talk, January can be a difficult month for people with eating disorders.

Overcoming adversity is one the biggest things that I struggled with three years ago when I first developed bulimia nervosa. For so long I refused to accept it to myself and lived in denial.

Opening up was never easy for me but before the words left my mouth the assessor slammed me down. “Your BMI is high and the ED services won’t see you because of your weight.”

Bulimia has been the devil on my shoulder for the best part of 25 years. This year is the first time I’ve stood up to the devil and said enough is enough.

I didn’t ever think that I would get to this point. To be honest I didn’t think that I had a ‘point’ to get to as I didn’t think that anything was wrong… But here I am, after a long old journey, feeling proud that I BEAT anorexia.

It can be hard to enjoy a holiday when there are so many things around that make it feel chaotic. For someone like me, who copes with anxiety by needing structure and routine, the spontaneity and fun of a holiday season is enormously difficult to navigate.

For many years I accessed online support for bulimia and was repeatedly told ‘recovery is always possible’. This felt really hollow to me. People kept telling me it was possible but not how it was possible.