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It is not your choice if you get an eating disorder, which is part of what makes them so cruel and unfair. However, you have the power to decide whether you will fight to recover from your illness to get your life back.
I guess the truth is that I am only at the very beginning of my recovery, and whilst I am doing really well, it almost feels harder than ever.
Recovery: Noun, A return to normal health. That is what the Oxford dictionary defines the word as. But what is a return to normal health? What is recovery?
I remember being around 10 years old and admiring an older (probably by three or four years) girl in my dance class for her thin physique. When I look back at it now, I realise that was one of the first indicators of my eating disorder journey.
I’d moved to Thailand after graduating to teach English. I developed a bit of anxiety and unhappiness due to loneliness, which I controlled through eating. Unfortunately, I took it too far, and upon my return, was admitted straight to hospital.
Eating disorders come in many different shapes and sizes. Some people have it their entire life, some people limit themselves so much that their bodies starve, some people have binge eating disorder.
During her degree, Jen brought the fight against eating disorders to her campus.
We didn’t speak about it at the time, about what it was like for Kate, or what it was like for her, going through this thing that we were both going through: Alex’s eating disorder.
I was waiting just before the start line, making small talk with the lady next to me. It was her first marathon too.
I am not the stereotypical eating disorder sufferer. I am overweight and middle aged, so therefore am I sure that I have bulimia? I have been asked this question many times and each time it hurts that little bit more.
Since I was 14, mental illness has been something I have had to learn to understand. My younger sister has had many problems, from self-harming and depression, to most recently, anorexia.
The evident stigma that’s often associated with mental health increases my passion towards trying to eradicate it and show how mental health is actually something that should not be trivialised.