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The demands of maintaining an eating disorder alongside working full-time were too much, and the eating disorder often won.
The thought of recovery is scary, but I’ve got further than I ever dreamed of, and you can too.
I felt sick all the time. Thought about food all the time. Lied and kept secrets and snuck around and hid. I did some terrible things.
But what is it like to live with an eating disorder? I often hear 'you don’t look like you have an eating disorder'.
My head was constantly filled with self-loathing thoughts. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than hating the skin I was in.
At the age of eight, I started to see a change in myself. I started comparing myself to everybody I saw.
For me, this was not simply a journey of losing weight, getting fitter, and gaining strength. In fact, those things were secondary in my mind.
This poem is mainly about the complexity of my anorexia nervosa, which I have suffered from for five years now.
I have always been the type of person who wants to learn about things I don’t understand.
Knowing it takes a long time can be miserable, but what I think I & fellow sufferers have to keep at the forefront of their minds is their motivations.
You know my friend is scared but you don’t know how strong she is. She’s tough, really tough. She’s got good people around her who love and support her.
I'm now pregnant and suffering from Hypermeresis Gravidarum (HG), which is an extreme form of morning sickness.